me

me
Right before my life turned 180

Friday, February 17, 2012

Tonight I remember dystonia

So prepping for a great weekend with silas, where if it's a project we end up doing at least the usual suspects of house-to-dos are absent (like laundry, ugh putting up laundry or dishes, washing the dogs, vacuuming too much dog hair, cat box ...icky usual that is too daunting when left unattended all week!) I was reminded of my evil shadow dystonia.
It really sucks to cater to it's every complaint"too cold""sit still""do that &i will twitch" on & on. I try so hard to not provoke my attacks.
But oh no, worst part is being so "dystonia compliant" I forget how bad it can last & how painful. How I keep tricking myself into thinking it is way better or perhaps in remission, over & over...UGH.is this what hope is?
So due to low low thyroid this first half of the week,i was barely able to get out of bed.
By wednesday boom thyroid up &i begin devising this plan of everything to do around the house, or if necessary an errand to make this weekend different...
I did tons laundry day one &i started really organizing all my art & felting stuff, total about 3hrs moving about & needed one pain pill.
Day 2:i vacuumed everywhere, more laundry, tons emails, errand (big one 2 grocery), brush dogs, clean bathroom, made sell on ebay pile. Total time:4.5 hours &3 pain pills & jaw pulling
(seems simply silly to list but really explaining the dystonia strike power)
Today, day 3: no matter what I did I could barely stand straight up from the pain, more clumsy, but determined for finishing what I could. Washed one dog, that was the end.pain & spasms.face to foot.

If I do almost nothing the pain is bearable, tremors bad but bad attacks rare except in jaw. But be bored out of my mind! Do a few normal things & potentially suffer days for it. This, this particular part of dystonia is what I hate.especially today& right this moment

Because I know I will now have to be still or sleep saturday & probably till monday,& all I was trying to do was be normal & nice & plan a fun weekend.

I hate you dystonia.

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